Keep Feeling (Religious) Fascination

I've always been interested in religion. From the common to the obscure, I'm willing to learn about almost any group. The list of organized religions I've been officially involved with gets pretty long: Methodist, Church of Christ, Lutheran, Catholic, Unitarian Universalist, Humanist, and Bahá'í. Add in the ones I've explored, and it gets ... weird. I think because I've looked at so much religion, I can't really believe any of it. I guess you could say I've seen the man behind the curtain, and he's not there.

Still, my interest continues. There are now only (?) four groups I've maintained a long-term interest in. They are Unitarian Universalist, Humanist, Bahá'í and Mormon. That clearly puts me outside my white-bread Protestant upbringing, a fact which used to bother me, but no longer does.

I like the UU's for being open to new things, and for their commitment to social justice. I have to admit, though, that every UU service I've been to has been boring. The group seems to be in a transitional state between their heterodox Protestant past and an as yet unknown future. Their traditions are still too new and fluid to have much meaning to outsiders. Personally, I'd like to see a little more focus on the Transcendentalist side of the movement since that seems to be a major source of their social justice commitment.

Humanists I value for their commitment to rationalism and (again) social justice. Unfortunately, I've never lived near any sizable Humanist community. All my participation has been online or through mail, and that's just not quite enough for me.

The Bahá'ís continue to interest me. The Writings contain some of the most inspirational words I've ever read. They, too, have a strong commitment to social justice (in most cases). I suspect they're less numerous than Humanists, but more widespread, so it's easier to find a local group. In many ways, though, I find them too politically conservative for me, with a far too hierarchical, authoritarian structure. Still, I keep coming back to them.

The Mormons seem to be the odd group in the list. They're very politically conservative, extremely hierarchical and authoritarian, and don't have much of a social commitment outside their own group. They do have one of the most fascinating histories, though. I think what keeps me interested is their arcane theology, their history of an alternative lifestyle, and their constant infighting. Also, The Book of Mormon really is an interesting read. I don't believe I could ever be Mormon, though, no matter how much it interests me. Primarily because I lack the necessary faith, and have no talent for following orders.

So: anyone else have a religious journey they'd like to talk about? I'd love to hear it.